I am at a crossroads; I have a family who hired my services. The aide tells me that when there is the woman’s daughter, she tells the aide that when her mother wakes up, they allow her to have breakfast with her adult diaper soil. Another issue is they (son and daughter) don’t know how to cook, so what they do is order takes out. I did not know how to cook but learned.
When I was there, I saw that the siblings talked and kept reading articles about nutrition and how to break down the food chain, all because the mother has been recently diagnosed with Frontal Temporal Dementia and Alzheimer’s. Something quietly frank I never thought would be possible. The siblings keep going. She can eat this but not that. When I have seemed that she is starving, when they bring something like a salad, she either does not want to eat or eats pleasantly.
I feel that they are so wrong that the woman is being neglected. Should I say something? Should I just be a money-grabbing person and not say anything? They think that by avoiding some sort of food, they are combatting her diagnosis. I personally want to help and first respect their vision. However, I can’t shake the fact that, for me, it is neglect.
It is or isn’t my job to say something if not the sibling because, after all, we are all trying our best, and I sure do want to believe in that. However, when looks like fish, smells like fish, it’s fish.
Some may think that neglection is a very strong word. Are the siblings aware of what they are doing? It falls into a new and very dangerous path. Are the siblings ignorant of their demise, and therefore they are unwillingly committing neglect?
What is more important? Count to twenty when an adult diaper is a soil or to take care of personal hygiene. They are so clueless that I mention that she overstimulated the daughter by saying not to give her coffee. I was like. Overstimulation is a Dementia issue. The mother screaming’s when taking a shower, and the daughter jumps like a lunatic, saying that the water is too hot (it wasn’t). I texted her how individuals with mental health issues react towards personal hygiene, bath, changing adult diapers, and the Alz.org website. I told her to read the articles so she could educate herself. Hopefully, she did and will come back better understood of how difficult it is for some to undress and be bath by someone else, their loved ones.
I still dwell. Should I make clear to them that what they are doing is neglect? The fact that they don’t have anything else, only cereal, sometimes they buy sweet potatoes for her to eat.